Thursday, December 29, 2011

Bears. Beets. Brains.

Wow... I've really been gone from this blog a while! Sorry about that. I'm totally blaming it on the craziness of the holidays, last minute shopping, and tag-team illnesses in my house.

But, now that I'm healed, and Christmas is over, it's back to work in the labs of B'hold Designs!

Now, those of you that watch The Office on NBC, know that if ANYone could survive the zombie apocalypse, it's Dwight. But, I thought it might be kind of fun to turn him into a moaning undead anyway...just for kicks.

It looks as if the clean-up crew has long since fled, considering the state the office is in. And would you look at that! It's seems the destruction of mankind and the rise of the dead haven't stopped Dwight's mortal enemy, Jim, from playing pranks! Poor looks like it's back to shuffling thru the streets if he wants something to snack on!

And for more Office fun, check out Zombie Jim & Pam, and my own thoughts on how long each cast-member would last in an actual zombie outbreak!

Aim high. Run fast. That's what she said.


P.S. Didn't get what you wanted from Santa this year, or forget someone on YOUR list? Come check out the B'hold Designs STORE! We might just have that special zombie gear you need to survive the apocalypse in style.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas!

All of us deep within the tombs of B'HQ wish you and yours a zombie-free merry Christmas and a happy New Year!!

Aim high. Run fast. Open gifts.


Friday, December 23, 2011

2 Years Ago Today...

December 23, 2009, my father passed away. It was one of those things you knew was getting closer and closer, and yet it still caught everyone off guard. He was 81.

He called me the night of Dec. 21, to tell me he had passed out and they were taking him to a local hospital. He asked if I'd drive my mother to the hospital to see him, and a couple of hours later, mom and I were by his side in the emergency room.

He seemed fine. He teased me about my ugliness chasing the cute nurses out of the room, and made my mother smile with his humor which led to something I don't ever remember seeing... a short, tender kiss between them. The next day was my sisters birthday, so then and there he called her on the phone to assure her he was fine, and give his best wishes for her special day.

He told us he felt well enough to go home, and was so sure he was on the mend, that he "ordered" us home because he felt there was no need for us to "waste our time" standing around. We turned and walked out of the room, and I looked back to see my smiling father waving goodbye.

A few hours later, we were called back to the hospital. He had passed out again, and this time it took 15 minutes of CPR to bring him back.

This time when we walked into the hospital it was a completely different experience. There was dad in the ICU with tubes and wires hooked to him...unconscious. The staff didn't hold out much hope.

During that time I did something that was long overdue. I whispered in his ear how much I loved him, told him how sorry I was for disappointing him so many times in my life, and thanked him for having the courage to adopt me.

Over the next several hours he "coded" two more times before enough was enough and he was gone.

So, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, the anchor of our family was gone forever. The man I'd looked up to for over 40 years suddenly wasn't there to give an encouraging word or tell me everything would be ok.

My mother has done pretty well considering everything that she had to go thru in the aftermath of his death. She's a strong woman. My sister is as well, and is able to stand strong knowing that dad would want her to.

I'm not as strong of a person and still struggle with his absence, but I am confident in the fact that I will see him again one day, and that keeps me going.

He was a husband, a father, a friend, a soldier, and a prankster and I will love and miss him forever.

It's crazy how a wonderful holiday like Christmas can bring such sadness, and it's tripled with the loss of someone dear. So my prayers go out to all of you who might be going thru something similar with a loved one.

Time marches on, and sometimes that really sucks, but we must continue to move live... and by doing so, we honor the memory of the lost.


Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Some time back, I started a little series called "Sensational Sell-ebrities." If you're unfamiliar, it involves me voicing my all time dream list of celebrity endorsements, and includes a photoshopped image of said celebrity wearing one of my shirts.

The first one of these I posted (see it HERE) involved my celebrity crush, Ms. Jennifer Aniston and featured her in the photo you see to your left.

NOW it seems that she has been named "Hottest Woman of All Time." Wow! What a title!

If she had been named "Hottest of the Last Six Months" or even "Nicest Hair in Beverly Hills" I wouldn't have given it much thought. But this title can only mean one thing.... the Hottest Woman of All Time committee MUST have been trolling the internet and found my photoshopped rendering of Jen wearing one of my designs, right? I mean, this blog is viewed a trillion times a day by humans, animals AND aliens, so it's highly possible that my image nudged her just enough to put her over the top. That's believable, isn't it? I hope so, because that's what I'm scrawling in my feelings journal tonight.

I have never met the lovely Ms. Aniston, so if any of you humans, animals or aliens out there see her at Starbucks, please pass along my most heartfelt congratulations and tell her I have a new shirt designed especially for her (pictured).

Aim high. Run fast. Dear Diary...


Monday, December 12, 2011

Undead Gifts for the Holidays!

I don't know if anyone else noticed, but it's nearly Christmas, and, while your pals here at B'hold Designs have lots of fun stuff in OUR SHOP you can buy for that special weirdo in your life, the net is FULL of awesome zombie related stuff!

Check these out:


I remember playing with G.I. Joe's as a kid. I loved breaking their arms and coloring their faces with "blood" as if they'd been horribly injured... not in war, but in a battle with either alien creatures, or a giant rubber spider I kept in my room (I need a therapist). I would have LOVED to have this little number to keep ol' joe on his toes. Available for roughly $17 at THIS LINK.

...and CLICK HERE to see even more Walking Dead gear!!


Remember Romero's Day of the Dead? Remember Bub, the "pet zombie" that the scientists thought provided hope that the zombies could be trained? Now you can have a Bub of your own! Take this little guy home and spend hours just pulling him apart and putting him back together. Available for about $10 at THIS LINK.


Not a people person? It's ok. You can hate humanity and still have fun with zombies thanks to this assortment of every pet you ever wanted as a kid! Five pieces, all delightfully undead and available for about $12 at THIS LINK.


Don't ask me what kind of meat this is. Just imagine the fun in the breakroom as you pull out this bag of snacks. Available in "Apocalypse Size" and for about $5 at THIS LINK.

Those are just a FEW of the items I found nosing around for last minute gifts for my twisted children. Have you found anything creepy or disgusting? Don't bogart the fun! Leave a comment and let us know where we can share in the fantastic grossness!

Aim high. Run fast.


Thursday, December 8, 2011


Remember sometime back when I submitted a zombified picture of Conan O'Brien to the TBS website?? Well I got word tonight that it was accepted!! Hurray!! You can see it (and lots of other artwork that's really cool) at THIS LINK.

You'll notice that it allows people to "like" the image, or comment with their facebook accts. I would like to greatly encourage everyone to hurl accolades and virtual thumbs up. Of course you don't HAVE too, but I'd appreciate it and, hey... Santa's might actually get you some brownie points. ALSO.... those that are liked the most are featured on the home page of the art gallery! Cool, right?

Aim high. Run fast. Check it out!


Monday, December 5, 2011

Epic Zombie Throwdown

We all have our own opinions when it comes to zombies... this movie's better than that movie... slow moving zombies are better than runners...etc... but, to my knowledge, no one has set up a match-up to decide the best of all time quite like this.

The good folks at AMC's The Walking Dead have set up a bracket style head-to-head with the most notorious undead of all time!

You don't need a membership or username or anything to vote, so CLICK HERE and check it out! And, might I remind you.... if you have yet to watch The Walking Dead, there is a break on new episodes right now until mid-February, so get caught up!! Season One is available on netflix, and Season Two episodes are available on itunes.

And don't forget!! If you're still looking for a Christmas gift for that special weirdo in your life, come by THE SHOP. It's possible we have just the thing to make them happy and nauseate grandma at the same time!

Aim high. Run fast.


Friday, December 2, 2011

Come Hunker In Our Bunker!

Miles beneath the earth's crust, the headquarters of B'hold Designs is keeping watch over all parts of the globe for signs of a zombie uprising. The number of outbreaks that have been contained thanks to these tireless guardians is classified, but suffice to say it's a lot. It's a big world out there, crawling with a lot of funky diseases and man-made toxins. So far.... humans can sleep easy.

However! Should the day ever arise that the undead take over, there is a "zombie bunker" deep within the heart of B'HQ... a mighty stronghold the likes of which have never been seen before!

Now, for the first time, B'hold Designs is offering merchandise bearing the likeness of the bunker's marker, and possessing it will ensure your spot within the bunker itself when the end comes! Simply show up at the gates of B'hold Designs with said merchandise, and be whisked away to safety behind concrete and steel hundreds of feet thick.

Why spend panicked-filled hours on a crowded freeway surrounded by undead strangers and skin-stinging napalm? Come "hunker in our bunker" and enjoy the apocalypse!

CLICK HERE for the gear!!

Aim high. Run fast.


Monday, November 28, 2011

NOOO!!! (spoiler alert)

Well, if you watch AMC's The Walking Dead, you know that the crew finally, FINALLY found poor little Sophia in last night's episode. Unfortunately, Rick had to put a bullet in her head as she was UNDEAD. Anyone see that coming? I sure didn't.

This show is amazing to me. Every episode ends with something that makes me gasp, but NEVER so much as last night. And what exactly did the death of zombified Sophia mean for the program? It means NO ONE is safe, which is exactly how it would be in that situation, and I applaud the show's willingness to be that real.

We all know that Shane has been saying a lot of things lately... that he's the only one that knows what it takes to exist in that world... that Rick's line of thinking is pre-apocalypse and, therefore, outdated and dangerous... that he's the true leader of the group... but who was it that stepped up when necessary, and did the impossible job of putting down undead Sophia? Rick. In that moment, I believe he solidified himself as the true leader of the group.

Shane has been going down a dark path for quite some time now, and I honestly didn't know what would happen in the "swamp confrontation" between he and Dale. Shane has threatened him once already... I honestly thought at the very least, Dale was going to get punched in the face. Now we see (if you've watched the previews for the Feb. 12 episode) that Dale is sharing his thoughts on Shane's character with Lori. How much longer can Shane last before completely blowing a gasket and "going Otis" on one of the group? How much longer will it be before Rick and Shane come to blows? They have such a strong bond of friendship, but can it survive their rivalry over who is the alpha male? What do you think? Feel free to comment your opinion below!

And watch THIS CLIP for a great reflection on last nights episode from the mouths of the actors themselves... and for crying out loud....PLEASE WATCH THIS SHOW!

Aim high. Run fast.


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

Like a slimy chunk of styrofoam, B'hold Designs has come charging back up from the depths! It was a while back that my buddy Jason inadvertently sunk my battleship just by giving me a shout-out on his facebook page. But fear not! The four-eyed nerds at B'HQ hooked up jumper cables to the neighbor's car and we are BACK!

Also, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and we all know what THAT means. It's time to dig out your vhs copy of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation! Nothing like Chevy Chase dealing with cousin Eddie and Uncle Lewis to put your own family in perspective, right?

And what goes great with that movie? Christmas-Vacation-specific gear from B'hold Designs!! Over at my shop you'll find TWO styles to remind you of this glorious movie that warms the heart and tickles the funny bone. Style One is Clark's great response to Uncle Lewis' order to fetch his wretched cigar. Style Two is the fantastic question Eddie asked after Clark told the kids about the weather man seeing Santa on his radar.

Need more incentive to come by the shop? How about FREE SHIPPING on orders of $55 or more (use code BERRY), or FREE PREMIUM SHIPPING on orders of $100 or more (use code CRAN)!! And that's site-wide, not just my stuff. So if I don't have anything you like, look around! There are a lot of great designs at cafepress. Not sure how long this shipping offer lasts as cafepress is in charge of that.
See for details.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I truly hope your holiday is filled with obnoxious wonderfulness... be that a quiet evening with the family, or a greased up game of twister with grandma. Enjoy.

Aim high. Run fast. Shitter's full.


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

28 Investigations Later

Despite having my site currently offline, the scientists in the B'hold Designs labs are still hard at work kicking out undead material. Nothing like mussing up someone's hair and decaying their flesh to take your mind off important matters.

Today I'm adding two new victims to the celebrity zombie archives! Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson! You know them. They've got that popular show on Syfy about ghost hunting titled (appropriately enough) Ghosthunters! Apparently, all those sleepless nights chasing ghosts took it's toll.

Maybe Ghosthunters will have a zombie episode! That would be kind of cool, right? Here's an idea... everyone write letters to the producers of the show requesting it, and put in a footnote about knowing an extremely handsome zombie consultant they could hire and give them my name! What? You thought since I said handsome I meant someone else? Ok, give them my name, but put in a picture of Clooney if it makes you feel better.

Aim high. Run fast.


What A Mess!

Well, here it is a week later and my site is still down. I've been going back and forth between my host and my bank in an effort to boost my hosting plan, but it's been one headache after another!

HOWEVER, my storefront is still open! Did you realize it's almost Christmas? Have you got a weirdo in your family that likes zombies and fart jokes? Then by all means, browse the aisles of B'hold Designs. You just might find that special something to brighten the holidays with grossness!

Aim high. Run fast.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I'll B'darned!!

I don't know if you tried to access my website yesterday, but as of this writing it's down. I'll be working on that today, but in the meantime, you might be thinking "what the heck happened??"

Some of you know that I chat with Jason Hawes of Syfy's Ghosthunters from time to time. We actually met thanks to some silly photoshop fun I was having with him and his crew during the early seasons. He's a really cool guy with a great sense of humor.

Anyway, I sent him a link to my latest blog because I thought he might get a kick out of my latest wallpaper. Out of the goodness of his heart he posted a note about it on his Facebook page resulting in over 82,000 hits! Unfortunately, it was too much for B'hold Designs HQ and it went down like the Hindenburg. It was awesome!

So, thank you Jason for introducing me to a whole bunch of new people, and fear not, lovers of zombies.... the B'hold Designs scientists are doing their best to relaunch the site and all will be back to normal as soon as possible!

In the meantime, obviously this blog is still kickin' and so is my storefront, so feel free to browse for Christmas gifts while we mop up.

Aim high. Run fast.


Monday, November 7, 2011

Free Wallpaper to Amuse and Sicken!

It's that time once again! The time where I design some mildly disgusting images and offer them to my loyal followers for FREE (because no one in their right mind would pay money for them)!

Now I'm assuming that you're all familiar with the "I heart NY" shirts that have been around forever... well, this one is very similar in message, yet just a little different in execution.

I present to you "I heart B"!

What's the 'B' for? Why, it's B'hold Designs silly! Knowing how much you, no doubt, enjoy my candy-fueled ramblings, I thought it appropriate to create a wallpaper that would tell the world (or at least anyone who walks by your computer) about your fondness for the zombies churned out by the "B machine."

And don't forget... there are other ways to show your devotion to B'hold Designs! Check out the "B section" of our storefront! There you will find other items (like the sample to the left) that would make people's heads turn.... in confusion. And what's more fun than messing with peoples heads?

Aim high. Run fast. Join us.


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Bacon Bites Back!

In what might be the world's ONLY case of Bacon eating people, I present to you the latest celebrity to fall prey to the mad scientists at B'hold Designs....

Mr. Kevin Bacon!!

Ya gotta love Kevin... from the old "how many degrees of Kevin Bacon" game, to Jim Gaffigan's comedy bit ("they're not going to see a Kevin Hotdog movie"), to his frat boy snot character in Animal House and beyond, we ALL know Kevin, and he's awesome. Did you know he was in the very first Friday the 13th movie? True. Go rent it tonight and see for yourself!

And, as always, remember that you TOO can be a member of the undead!

True, Halloween is over... but can you imagine the look on grandmas's face if you were to replace her treasured photo of you in the 7th grade with a zombified image?? Beautiful family moments like that don't just happen by themselves, ya know.

Aim high. Run fast. Kevin Bacon.


Monday, October 31, 2011

This Just In...

Hey everybody! ABC News finally figured out what you and I knew all along! Zombies are cool!!

Check out THIS LINK to see their report on zombies in general, as well as a look behind the scenes of the most amazing show on television today.... The Walking Dead!

So glad I watched that video! Otherwise, how would I have known??

Aim high. Run fast. No duh.


Happy Halloween!

It's finally here! The ONE day when it's completely cool and expected for you to dress like a axe-wielding psychopath, and receive free candy from your neighbors!

Of course, there's always the possibility of a zombie apocalypse (fingers crossed), and you never know when a real life Michael Myers will appear from the shadows, swipe a kitchen knife from your counter and go crazy on your baby-sitter, but overall it's a pretty cool time!

And hey! I have a great idea! In between canvasing neighborhoods, TP-ing your brothers house, or egging the car of your childhood english teacher, stop by the B'hold Designs STOREFRONT! Sure, we're an internet business, but we'll have loads of imaginary candy out all night long! Browse around the stockroom, check out the merchandise.... you just mind find the perfect "treat" for your little monster!

Happy Halloween!!

Aim high. Run fast. Be safe.


Sunday, October 30, 2011

Big Favor From Cafepress!!

Ever heard of the online mega-store CAFEPRESS? It's the site thru which my STOREFRONT is hosted, and they are currently doing me a big favor! If you go to their home page, you'll see MY shirt design out front for their "Lock and Load" zombie promotion!! Cool huh?

Many thanks to them for doing so, as it has helped my sales greatly!

So, stop by and pick something up! Sure Halloween is nearly come and gone, but zombies don't follow a calendar. Besides, Christmas is right around the corner, and you just might find the perfect gift for that special weirdo in your life.

Aim high. Run fast. Buy stuff.


Saturday, October 29, 2011

Almost Halloween!

Hey everyone!

What a great time of year! The leaves are blowing down the street... the skies are overcast... grinning jack-o-lanterns on every porch.. spooky isn't it? It just 'screams' (like that?) of scary movies.

Of course we all know the Halloween movie series. I love them. Not ALL of them... (can't stand H3) ... but the majority are pretty darned cool. Personally, I prefer old school to the Rob Zombie revamps, but his are pretty cool too. Very dark.

My recommendation for you tonight is to shut off all the lights, curl up on the couch and dive into a Halloween marathon! You might regret it, but not until bed time.


Monday, October 24, 2011

Sensational Sell-ebrities! ... pt. 8

It's been a while since I've done one of these, so let me refresh your memory as to what it's all about… The "Sensational Sell-ebrities" blog entries are dedicated specifically to the Hollywood elite who have NO idea I exist, but whose star power would reeeeeeeally help me sell some stuff. LAST TIME it was the main stars of AMC's The Walking Dead… and today features one particular character from that program.

I present to you, Mr. Norman Reedus!

Mr. Reedus plays "Darryl Dixon" on The Walking Dead….a character I didn't like very much in the beginning, but have now come to admire. While he has his quirks (if you can call bigotry a quirk), he has climbed the ladder of respect in terms of zombie defense and disposal.

With his crossbow and hunting/tracking skills, Darryl Dixon is someone you definitely want with you when facing the undead. His silent kills (because bullets attract the horde) are legendary and, quite frankly, ninja-like. His fearlessness and precision will be gushed over by zombie nerds for eons to come.

Now imagine Mr. Reedus at a comicon or some other event wearing the ULTIMATE CAMOUFLAGE from B'hold Designs! Talk about a crossbow bolt in the arm for sales!

SO…(Robert Stack voice)…if YOU happen to see Mr. Reedus at the crossbow range, or skinning raccoons along the river bank, tell him there's one more thing he could be doing to insure his survival in a post-apocalyptic world…then, while he's got you pinned against the wall with a bowie knife to your neck, simply direct him to my website, and know that angry, steely glare that makes you want to pee yourself is just his way of saying 'thanks.'

Aim high. Run fast.


Friday, October 21, 2011

Thank Goodness for Computers

A lot of designers are very talented in traditional art as well as digital. I am not one of those people. Seriously, at best, I'd make a decent Pictionary partner. That's it.

Thank goodness for computers.

This is an image I created a while back that I've recently revamped and "spruced" a little. It was completely for fun, which means I got zero dollars for it. Unfortunately, MOST of the projects I love to work on make me bupkis, but that's ok. I still enjoy creating them.

A combination of two different renderings, this image was created using a cool 3D program called Bryce. I set up the ship and the waterscape, and then a separate one for space. Then, using Photoshop, I brought them both together and added a few extra touches.

Maybe I'll print it out and paste it to a canvas to make myself feel better.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

When Worlds Collide

It's no secret to those who know me that I'm a big fan of NBC's The Office. Since the pilot episode I have followed the insane careers of the good (and slightly kooky) people of Dunder Mifflin.

I first collided their world with the undead a while back when I gave my idea of which of the cast I thought would survive a zombie apocalypse and for how long.

Now, it seems that Jim and Pam have fallen victim to the bite of the undead! I present to you "Office Zombies"

The quote on the image is an actual quote by office weirdo Dwight. See it HERE.

And remember - YOU TOO can be zombified, thanks to the scientific geniuses deep within the core of B'hold Designs! All the info can be found HERE.

Aim high. Run fast. That's what she said.


Oh!! One more thing! Halloween is coming! So be sure and check out my GIFT SHOP for all your zombie gear! With all kinds of sizes, styles and merchandise, I'm sure we have SOMEthing to spice up your holiday party! And with our "spend as much as you want" policy, you'll be welcomed with open arms.... decayed, but open.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I Did NOT See THAT Coming!

Before anyone makes a "that's what she said" joke, I'm referring to the crazily out-of-the-blue ending to the season premiere of The Walking Dead on AMC last Sunday.

Warning...if you have yet to watch it, the following (and any comments) will contain a spoiler or two.

Wow! What a premiere! We've all been waiting for nearly a year to rejoin Rick and the other survivors as they make their way away from the CDC toward Ft. Benning, GA (a real place in which my dad was once stationed).

Low on gas, and leaning heavily on each others nerves, the crew got a good distance down the road before running into the "freeway graveyard"... a collection of vehicles driven by people long since dead or UNdead. It's at this point that we see another horde... maybe not as large as the one Rick encountered on horseback last season, but a menacing one, none the less.

Diving for cover, the majority of survivors laid under cars waiting for the dead to finish shuffling by (did anyone ELSE think that a zombie would fall down and spot them?).

T-Dog and Darryl weaved in and out of crashed vehicles to avoid being spotted, while a peeved Andrea spent her time battling a zombie in the RV.

I LOVED this scene... I personally felt the suspense was built up extremely well. Frightening...tense... and amazing.

By the way, did you notice the awesome kill Darryl made to save T-Dog? What did he use? Was that an icepick? Whatever it was, Darryl is my new favorite zombie killer. That guy is a ninja... and afraid of no one.

Poor little Sophia...just couldn't wait to get out from under that car, which led to her being chased by two undead into the deep forest. Rick saved her life, but she somehow became separated and is currently MIA.

While searching for her, the group come upon a camping tent. Inside is a corpse...a real one, not a zombie. As the camera pans down to show the gun in the dead persons hand, there is a large button on his jacket. I tried pausing my DVR many times to read what it said and couldn't. Anyone out there get a look and have any idea?

Finally, the big finale..... who saw that coming? A nice, peaceful moment between one of God's unspoiled creatures of the forest, and a child... Carl... then BANG!! I was flabbergasted! So, who did it?? I have a buddy that's thinking it's Merle. Remember him from episode two last year? Darryl's brother whom they left on the rooftop sawing thru his own wrist to get away from the undead?

Despite the fact that he's a jerk supreme, I'm not sure he would take out his anger on a child...but then again, Rick IS the one responsible for handcuffing him on that roof.

I'm anxious to hear your thoughts on the premiere, as well as your ideas on where it will go from here! Shout out, zombie fans!

Aim high. Run fast.


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Happy Birthday Connor!

Hey everyone! My youngest son, Connor turned 12 today!

His poor mother was sick during most of the pregnancy, and when he was born he had a slight case of jaundice (long gone), and he currently has some food allergies that just don't seem to want to go away, but he sure doesn't let it hold him back. He's got more energy and enthusiasm for life than most people I know!

I wish you all could know him. He's funny, handsome (of course) AND...he's a gifted artist! That boy can draw some really cool stuff...

Happy birthday, little buddy! I love ya!

Your zombie dad


Hopefully by now you've all come to realize how much I love love LOVE the AMC show, The Walking Dead. I'm sure you've heard me blather on and on about the drama, character interaction, horrific suspense, and of course the freakishly awesome zombies.

Well, after nearly an entire YEAR of waiting, Season Two starts TONIGHT!!

But what if you never got around to watching the FIRST season? First of all, shame on you... secondly, it's ok. They're running a complete marathon of the 6 episode first season today starting at 2:30 pm Eastern time (with season 2 premiering at 9 Eastern) so you can get completely caught up.

So load your shotgun, prep those molotovs and kick start those DVR's ladies and gentlemen, and get ready for the "resurrection" of the single greatest television show of our time!

Aim high. Run fast. Tune in.


Monday, October 10, 2011

Zombie Frank!

I am beside myself with anticipation. I am busting out of my skin (and not just because I'm gaining weight).


Because this Sunday is my son's birthday! Oh, and also the premiere of WALKING DEAD SEASON TWO!!!

PLEASE tell me you've seen it. It is the most fantastic show on tv! I never thought I'd see such a fantastic television show centered around life during the zombie apocalypse, but that is truly what it is. I know. I've mentioned that before. I love it. You get it.

I also remember mentioning how cool the original director, Mr. Frank Darabont, was in not only accepting one of my shirts, but writing me such a great thank you! (catch up on the whole story HERE)

So when it came to zombifying someone this week, it was an easy choice....for my birthday boy. He's the one who suggested Mr. Darabont, and it makes perfect sense, considering the timing of the second season.

I present to you, Zombie Frank!

Have you noticed that the addition of flies have kind of become a staple in my images? I like them! I feel they help convey that "rotting" if the dead flesh weren't enough.

Aim high. Run fast.


Friday, October 7, 2011

Trick or Treat or Brains!!

It's nearly Halloween! Soon the leaves will be blowing down the streets, the sky will grow gray and little kids will go door to door begging for candy and throwing eggs.

Know what else you might be seeing soon? Zombies.

With the state of the world today (disease, war, chemical sprays, bio-weapons, Big Macs) it's only a matter of time before we're all swinging ball bats at the neighbors for trying to bite us. Might as well get prepared, right?

What better way to prepare then with The B'hold Designs Official Ultimate Camouflage! It reads "In Event of Undead Attack, the Bearer of this Label is considered Zombie Friendly! Do Not Eat!" What better way to deter a zombie than to say "hey buddy! I'm on your side!" Your new found "friendship" will inspire your attacker to move on, thus allowing you to deliver the killing blow without resistance.

Available in many different styles and colors, this design is also featured on different accessories to add to your personal fortification against the undead! Surprised by a zombie in your kitchen? Relax! You've got your Ultimate Camouflage Coffee Mug!

Yes, machetes, grenade launchers, molotov cocktails, M16s....they will all come in handy when the dead rise from their graves.,.and yes, it's probably true that zombies can't read. But is that really a chance you're willing to take?

Aim high. Run fast. Do not eat!


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Reach Out and Bite Someone...

I broke my phone today. Well, the glass face of it. Kind of a pain, but there's a repair place down the street that fixed it in less than 20 minutes. Quick and convenient...and that's what got me thinking. In a zombie apocalypse, there are no quick fixes.

Imagine being on the run from the undead...either to your car or down some stairs, or wherever the apocalypse might find you. You'd probably be glad to have a phone with you, especially if you'd somehow become separated from your loved ones. But how long would a phone actually last?

Let's assume that the apocalypse is in full swing. Traditional forms of assistance are disabled... it's chaos in the street... and also quite likely that the power is out. And, for our purposes, let's imagine that the apocalypse was only virus meteors, no massive other words, we still have towers up and standing.

Now, given that scenario, how long would a cell phone last? If I'm careful, mine can last a couple of days, and I've heard of others lasting much longer... so would you be able to gather your family/friends together in that amount of time? Could you rig a charger to a battery source? And then there's the question of reception.

Is it possible that the rapidly-fading-from-use land line phone could be the savior? Your cell may give out, but what about that old gas station down the street with the filthy wall mounted unit? If poles are still up, it might be just what you need to make contact.

Your thoughts?

Aim high. Run fast. Phone a friend.


Monday, October 3, 2011

World Zombie Day!

Sound the sirens and load your shotguns!

Zombies have finally been rewarded for their 'rise from the grave' of obscurity & ridicule, to the 'Jeffersonian deluxe apartment in the sky' of pop culture!


Zombie walks and pub crawls are popping up all over! Check locally, and you might find one near you! Here's a list of some being held around the United States.

Hold your decomposing head high and celebrate this long overdue honor for fans of the undead everywhere...and the next time your home is under siege from a horde of moaning, staggering zombies, show your respect for this misunderstood cinematic creature, and think for a moment about the struggle they've endured to claw their way to popularity .... THEN throw the molotov.

Aim high. Run fast.


Thursday, September 29, 2011

Celebrity Make Over!

It's that time again, when I dust off my nuclear-powered bedazzler, set it on 'zombify' and just go crazy on an unsuspecting celebrity. The last two entries focused on funny men Jim Carrey (see it here), and Conan O'Brien (see it here).

So who is my latest victim? None other than zombie author Max Brooks!

Not familiar with Max? You should be! The author of The Zombie Survival Guide, Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks, and World War Z, he has secured himself a seat at the "head table of knowledge" regarding all things zombie.

Max makes personal appearances all across the nation, and was recently a guest expert on the undead for Spike TV's Deadliest Warrior in a battle against vampires (I won't mention the outcome, as I haven't finished screaming "FIX!!"). 

I've sent this image on to Max himself (thru a friend) in hopes that he will love it so much that he'll hang it in a place of prominence while he entertains fellow zombie legends like George Romero, or Frank Darabont. If I get any kind of reply I'll be sure and let you know...unless it's a restraining order, in which case I may not be able to discuss it.

Aim high. Run fast.


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Freebie Time!!

As a special thank you for being the absolute coolest blog followers on the planet, we here at B'hold Designs have a brand new, just for YOU wallpaper!

Totally unique, and quite possibly my grossest one yet, I present to you "Lend Me Your Ears!"

Now I know what you're thinking.... "ick..." and for that I thank you, but it might interest you to find out that the zombie ear you see is actually mine! Neat, huh? The beauty of using my own ear is that my hygiene is so terrible I had to do very little photoshop work to achieve that look!

So, plaster it on your PC's, oh fellow zombie fan, and delight in the nauseated looks on the faces of your co-workers, friends and relatives! And when they no doubt tell you that you have a serious problem (as they tell me), tap on your monitor and reply "I hear that!"

Aim high. Run fast.


Sunday, September 18, 2011

Conan O'Braaainnnssss

It's celebrity zombifying time again! Last time, our victim was the beloved funny man Jim Carrey (check it out HERE). This time, it's another beloved funny man, Mr. Conan O'Brien!

I present to you, Conan O'Braainnss!

Notice the missing eye. Apparently he's been undead long enough to not only lose it, but pick up a resident spider that appears quite comfy there. He probably makes a good living with the flies being so attracted to the stench that they don't mind congregating a mere couple of inches from his web! (hope no one is trying to eat pizza right now).

OH, I submitted the image to the Conan O'Brien fan art gallery over at TBS. I haven't heard if it's been accepted, but if it is, I'll definitely let you know. In the mean time feel free to check out the other fan art on that site. There's a lot of really cool stuff!

Remember, if you think YOU would like to be zombified, it's possible! Just follow THESE STEPS.

In the meantime, may the image of "Conan O'Braainnsss" inspire you to stock up on granola and ammo!

Aim high. Run fast.


Thursday, September 15, 2011

Choose Your Weapon

My sons enjoy playing the zombie apocalypse video game, Left4Dead. I love it too, but I just can't sit there forever like they can. I guess I'm old.

While the survivors of that particular zombie apocalypse are vastly outnumbered, they have some things NONE of us would have if we were ever faced with the same scenario. Guns. Lots and lots and LOTS of guns. AND the ammo to go in them!

Every so often you can find piles of ammo and fully loaded weapons (ranging from handgun to assault rifle and the occasional grenade launcher) just lying around. Usually they're accompanied by untouched first aid kits, and ready-to-use explosives. Convenient, right?

I suppose for video games it pretty much has to be that way, but what about us in the real world? What would YOU use? Do you have anything in your home/office/dorm/apartment that could be used as a weapon? A lot of people own handguns, but not everyone. What then? Power tools? A rake? I want to know!

But, here's the catch... make it something you can actually get your hands on. Keep it real. Just crying out "flamethrower" is cool, but could you get it realistically?  Maybe you could....are you, or a family member in the reserves with access to high powered weaponry? Awesome. Are you in an apartment with not even a hammer? Find something around you! Pretend your door will be broken down any moment! What can you use to defend yourself?

And while you're thinking about it, why not take the first step of zombie protection and purchase your own B'hold Designs Ultimate Camouflage....better than a flame thrower, and cheaper, too!

Sound off, zombie fans!

Aim high. Run fast. Be creative.


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Marketing of the Dead!

Thanks to my buddy, Bob, I have the cool opportunity to promote B'hold Designs at a popular local novelty store! Pictured to the left is the ad design currently hanging at the store.

It's all part of an effort to build a following for this site and, in so doing, increasing the odds of survival for all mankind when the zombies come! (don't forget the Ultimate Camouflage available now!)

See that code in the bottom left corner? In case you don't recognize it, that's a handy little gizmo called a QR code. When read by a smart phone app (free) it takes the person directly to B'hold Designs! Cool, huh?

It's just one more step to help develop our network of zombie enthusiasts and, thus, an undead utopia! So, go forth, fellow fan of the fallen....and bring some more pals to our clubhouse! They'll thank you when the zombies come.

Aim high. Run fast.


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Pop Quiz!

Relax. It's not the kind of pop quiz we all groaned about during our school days. This one is fun!

Ok, we all know how cool zombies are and how much fun it is to watch movies about the undead....but what if they were real? Here's what I want to know (feel free to write your answers in the comment section or on your hand if you'd rather) :

1. Imagine yourself in a zombie apocalypse. Considering your CURRENT surroundings, what vehicle would you go for? Now before you say a tank with mounted flame thrower, etc..... keep this realistic based upon what is readily available to you right now. If you just happen to live near a military base, great, or if the neighbor has a hummer, that's cool too, but keep it real to your living situation.

2. What three items would you take with you? Again, before you say "helicopter" or "80 lbs of Power bars and 1000 rolls of 2-ply toilet paper" keep it (say it with me) REALISTIC. If you had to be on foot for any period of time, and you could only bring three items, what would they be?

and finally...

3. Where would you go? A relatives house? The hospital? The postoffice? The candy store? Keep it realistic based on some place you could conceivably reach in a relatively short period of time.

So take your time, think about it and let me know what you come up with! Personally, I'll be miles beneath the earth's crust in a safe room deep within B'hold Designs headquarters. I just want to know who I'll be able to call for an update once the zombies come.

Aim high. Run fast. Think hard.


Thursday, September 8, 2011

Could YOU survive a horror flick? many times have you watched a horror movie and become disgusted with the women involved? Every female victim screams and cries and either runs INTO the house or UP the stairs, and most of the time while wearing little more than a towel (after all, who doesn't take a shower during a power outage brought on by a thunder storm in the middle of the woods?).

But, there is one woman that despite her high heels, or panicky nature, taps into that inner "fierceness" and gives the machete-wielding psychopath a run for his money. Her character quickly evolves from scared little rabbit to kung-fu rambolina on steroids....who is she? She's the SCREAM QUEEN.

You're one of those. You know where NOT to know to grab the dead boyfriends car keys before fleeing the scene....AND you know how to make a complicated trap that would make Fred Jones proud!

No freak with a hockey mask is going to kill YOUR dog/mom/boyfriend/sister/babysitter without a machete/chainsaw/hammer/screwdriver to the noggin courtesy of Y-O-U!!

So, come by the shop and pick up the shirt that will make any masked intruder think twice before busting in the door of YOUR summer camp shower room.

Aim high. Run fast. Kick ass.


*Design Reads: "Bona Fide Butt-Kickin', Towel-Wearin', Axe-Swingin' SCREAM QUEEN

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Jim Scarey

In the history of 'me' there are many people that have made me laugh. I am a huge fan of several different comedians...some for their stand-up, some for their skit work in various programs, and some for their work on the big screen....but only one man made tears stream down my face with laughter. That same man was so ridiculously hilarious in the film Liar Liar, that my wife went into labor just a few hours after seeing it...and she wasn't even pregnant (Just kidding...She was...and due).

That man is the legendary Jim Carrey.

I have enjoyed peering into his world so many times throughout his career, that I thought it was time to drag him into mine.

I present to you "Jim Scarey." (Click the image for a closer look)

And remember, you too can be zombified by the whiz bang scientists at B'hold Designs. Check the details here!

Now go talk to someone with your butt.

Aim high. Run fast. Alrighty then.


Thursday, September 1, 2011

Skins Update, and a Plea for Help

(room for one more?)
Last month I contacted a skin company about hosting some of my designs (I had a deal in place with a different company last year, but that fell thru).

I'm very excited about the possibility of hooking up with this new company, as they are more well known. After my last message and samples, they asked me to contact them again at the beginning of next month and we could discuss things.

I'm currently working on some new designs that will hopefully grab their attention and capitalize on this "zombie renaissance" we're currently experiencing in pop culture.

But I need your help...

They are interested to hear what kind of following I have generated online, which will probably aid in their decision making process. So what do I need from you?


Now don't get me wrong. I love the "after school in my garage" gathering we have here. You have each been so great as to not only buy my designs, or read my blathering on a regular basis, but be my friends!  I truly appreciate each one of you....but at the risk of sounding greedy... I need more!

We must take to the streets of the interweb, waving our signs and chanting our slogans, so that the zombie-liciousness of B'HOLD DESIGNS will be known by every man, woman and child! In so doing, perhaps one day ALL may be able to stride down the streets in comfort, knowing that, thanks to designs like THIS, their noggin will be safe in a zombie apocalypse!

Feel free to shout the name of B'hold Designs from your roof (please don't climb up there), or paint my web address on the underbelly of a passenger jet (I wouldn't if I were you)! Personally, I plan to print a few of my blogs out, cork them in a bottle and throw it as far as I can into the ocean (Being hundreds of miles from a coastline it might take a couple of tries).

Whatever you choose to do, know that together we can increase this blogs following and, thusly, increase the number of survivors when the zombies march across our land looking to attack our gray matter with the ferocity of a great dane with a jar of peanut butter!

I thank you, loyal friend and follower of B'hold Designs....and as always...

Aim high. Run fast. Spread the Word.


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

It's a Dirty Job...

Ever watch those old zombie films with the hands reaching up thru the ground to grab the ankles of unsuspecting coeds that, for whatever reason, thought it would be fun to party in a grave yard? Of course you did! They were awesome, right?

And, no doubt, you grabbed your shovel and ran to your nearest cemetery in an attempt to re-enact what you'd just watched, right? Right? Hello?? Ok...apparently, that was just me.

My point is, we love zombies. Who doesn't? If pop culture is any indication, those that don't are in the minority! Rejoice, fellow zombie fan! Now you can shout your love for digging up the undead without fear of ridicule or disgust!

So, run to the B'hold Designs Storefront, zombie fan, click some buttons and spend some money (and don't forget your shovel).

Aim high. Run fast.


Friday, August 26, 2011

Special Zombie Unit

Of all the tv shows I enjoy, I am drawn to LAW & ORDER: SVU. Something about the characters, cases and writing keeps me glued to the screen. And on those days when USA runs a marathon....well, nothing much gets done in my house.

So, since I love the show, and (thanks to the economic downturn) have a little extra time on my hands, I thought I'd do a tribute to my two favorite t.v. cops...zombie style.

And thus.... GNAW & ODOR: SZU was born!

And remember! You TOO can be made over into a moaning undead, without the hassle of getting bitten by an actual zombie! Thanks to scientific breakthroughs in zombie creation by the geeks at B'HOLD DESIGNS, it's as easy as following THESE STEPS.

....and what better way to complete the zombie awesomeness than with something from the B'hold Designs GIFT SHOP where careless spending is not only's encouraged.

Aim high. Run fast.


Monday, August 22, 2011

Do You Dream in Undead?

I've never had much of a problem remembering my dreams. They're always in color and a couple of times, I was actually lucid and able to control them, but just for a couple seconds before waking up.

Sometimes the dreams are really fun, sometimes they're frightening, and sometimes they're just plain silly. I've had many dreams of "brilliant" designs that for the first few seconds after waking, I could hardly wait to get started on. However, after a few minutes of being awake, it finally occurs to me that they are (usually) ridiculous.

They're always in color, and always vivid, which make it all the more fun when I dream about zombies!

The majority of my zombie dreams are based on survival. One dream found me in a parking lot in the middle of my childhood home town. Myself and a few others ran for a car as the undead closed in. The interesting part was how the car shrunk in size as we dove in. There were only four of us, but we were so crammed that we nearly couldn't close the doors. They did close eventually and the rest of the dream was like playing life-sized pinball while riding in a blood-splattered clown car.

Another was first-person shooter, like a lot of great zombie killing video games (THIS ONE is my personal favorite). Blasting away at the forever oncoming undead with unlimited ammunition was a literal "blast."

But the one that really captured my attention and memory…the one I STILL tell people to this day had no running, no shooting…no action whatsoever.

In this particular zombie dream, my eyes fluttered open in the middle of the night and I was still in my bed with the covers pulled up close. Once they focused I was shocked to find every open spot on my floor filled with undead. My eyes slowly panned across their faces starting with the one furthest from me. There were "fresh" zombies as well as those in advanced states of decay. I was frozen…unable to move as they all stared daggers thru me…as if they would pounce any second.

Finally, my eyes reached the last zombie; the one right next to me. He was tall, and skeletal and frightening…and as my eyes met his, he leaned down close as if to see if I was awake…his rotting, soulless eyes no more than an inch above mine.

It was then I woke up.

It may not sound like much, but in my tiny brain it was spooky and creepy and AWESOME. I loved it.

So tonight before bed, I recommend watching as much zombie horror as you can. And if your normally tranquil REM cycle turns a bit too freaky, just holler for me. I'll be the one in the blood-splattered clown car.

Aim high. Run fast. Nightie night.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

World War Z Movie

How many times have you seen a film based on a book and thought "the book was way better"? Pretty much every time, right? I think part of that is the challenge faced by screenwriters to take a 400 page novel and condense it to 110 pages of film script.

At least they try.....or DO they?

When I first heard that WORLD WAR Z, the great zombie novel by Max Brooks, was the center of a bidding war for the film rights, I got really excited. I loved the book, and even had the opportunity to meet Max once. He signed my copy with "Brett, great shirt! Thanks!" (I had just given him one of THESE.) So, a bidding war for a great novel meant that the folks in Hollywood were really wanting to tell this story! I couldn't wait.

Then I found out who was bidding. On one side you had Brad Pitt's production company. I guess he's ok, but I would never put him in a zombie film. On the other......Leo Dicaprio. A decent actor, but I would NEVER want the "I'm king of the world" guy in a zombie film. ESPECIALLY one by Max Brooks. Sorry. He's just not cool enough.

Fast forward a bit.... Pitt's company won. Fine. At least it's getting made. appears (according to THIS ARTICLE) that Mr. Pitt has decided that the original novel is not a good enough concept for his film, and is allegedly taking the film in an entirely different direction!

Why do film makers do this? Why do they love a book so much that they want to alter the story? How does that work? It doesn't have to be that way, and frequently isn't, so why is it that Pitt's "vision" is so much better than that of Brooks??

I have to wonder how this makes Max feel. He spent a LOT of time creating this work from the sweat of his brain....rewrites, sleepless nights (probably)...getting it exactly the way he wanted it. Then someone comes along, buys it and tears it all apart, in an effort to present their OWN vision for HIS idea. Crazy.

Hopefully it's not too late. Apparently the Brooks/zombie disciples are pissed, and rightly so. Maybe those in control of this film will hear our cries and stop messing with the original story before it turns into an amalgam of aliens, zombies, and Dora the Explorer.

Aim high. Run fast. Write your congressman.


Monday, August 15, 2011

That's What SHE Screamed

I don't watch a lot of television. Well that's not true. I actually DO watch a lot, but my short attention span usually dictates a constant flicking of the remote control with no more than a few seconds spent on any particular channel. One show I stop for every time, however, is NBC's "The Office." I've been hooked since episode one and look forward to next season.

Recently I had a thought….. how would the characters in "The Office" fare in a zombie apocalypse? I've given this some thought and have created a list of the characters, starting with the quickest to die and ending with the most likely to survive.

1. Kevin Malone - 10 minutes…tops.

Poor Kevin. This guy wouldn't have much of a chance. According to the hit movie "Zombieland", cardio is priority number one and I'm betting he doesn't have it. The character Kevin is also a very slow-witted type with lagging reflexes…unless there's cake.

2. Toby Flenderson - a couple of hours

Toby would most likely stay in his cubicle and simply shrug an unspoken "oh well" as the undead attacked.

3. Stanley Hudson - just a few hours

Stanley probably doesn't have the cardio either, but the main problem for this character is his heart. An 'over the top' fire drill from Dwight sent him straight to the hospital. I can't imagine he'd do much better with a city full of undead.

4. Ryan and Kelly - a day…maybe

Everyone familiar with the show knows that Kelly is way more devoted to Ryan than he is to her, so there's no doubt in my mind that he would ditch her in a heartbeat. Of course, he's not prone to making good decisions and could never survive on his own. Kelly, left all alone might be able to tap into her "fierceness" and slug a few zombies, but she wouldn't last long.

5. Phyllis (and Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration) - 3 days

Phyllis doesn't have the cardio either, but she does have Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. No doubt he has access to some durable delivery trucks that might be able to take them quite a distance down the road, but with few provisions, and most likely no gas at the pumps, their days would be in the single digits.

6. Angela Martin - 3 days

As soon as the zombie poo would hit the fan, I'm sure Angela would hunker down in her home with her cats awaiting a chopper rescue from her gay state senator boyfriend…which would most likely never come. Once the cat food is gone, her precious "children" would turn on her and she'd become human meow mix.

7. Meredith - 3 days

Immediately running to Poor Richard's pub, Meredith would hunker down and drink herself into a catatonic state. The zombies would later greatly appreciate the vodka pickled taste of her gray matter.

8. Andy & Erin - a week

Andy and Erin run off together with Andy seeking help from his vast network of fellow Cornell grads….none of which come thru for him. To keep their spirits up, they sing songs which, of course, attracts the horde.

9. Oscar Martinez - a week

Unwilling to admit that those creating the chaos are actually zombies, Oscar eventually emerges from his home in an attempt to "talk" to the attackers. They aren't receptive.

10. Darryl - 2 weeks

With their size and strength, Darryl and his fellow warehouse buddies actually do pretty well fighting off the undead, but the greater the number, the harder it is to keep up the pace and eventually he is overcome.

11. Creed - several weeks

Creed is a slippery guy. Comments he has made in the past would lead one to believe that he has eluded capture many times before and this would be no different. His downfall would actually come from fellow survivors from whom, no doubt, he would steal provisions and vehicles.

12. Pam, Jim and baby Cece - a few years

Pam and Jim are pretty smart people. Most likely they would find their way thru the chaos and reluctantly take refuge with Michael in Colorado (I can see Jim making a pros and cons list the night before….pros, safety with Michael…cons, death..hmm…). What effects prolonged exposure to the high levels of Michael-Holly nerdity would have on their psyche is anyone's guess.

13. Michael and Holly - a few years

Having just moved to the Colorado, Michael and Holly would do pretty well. The cold of the rockies would greatly slow the pace of the undead, making maneuvering around them much easier, and in winter completely stop them in their tracks, giving Michael a captive audience for his new stand up routine.

14. Dwight K. Schrute - several years

Everyone laughed at Dwight whenever he spoke of his survival training, or his ability to make just about anything out of beets, but not anymore. He (and his cousin Moze) are quite possibly the sole survivors of the zombie apocalypse. The oncoming assault of undead came as no surprise to him, as he'd apparently dealt with them before. See THIS CLIP for proof of his knowledge of how to take out the undead.

These scenarios are just my personal theories, of course, but there's no doubt that they would ALL survive if only they had access to my ULTIMATE CAMOUFLAGE. Besides, buying that is a lot easier than working on cardio.

Aim high. Run fast. That's what she said.