Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Product Spotlight!

I am loving this "Zombie Renaissance" we are going thru right now. Finally, zombies have shuffled their way into mainstream popularity. They're being featured in commercials, drawing big name celebs for films....even the American Idol kids got to dress up as the undead during their time on television this season.

But while it's great to see all the new fans, we need to acknowledge the true and faithful fans that have ALWAYS loved zombies; the fans that stood tall amid the snickering and eye-rolling upon mentioning their favorite undead flick; the fans that already had their survival kits packed...their machete's sharpened and at the ready....those that were killing undead BEFORE it was popular.

Now you can declare to the world how YOUR steadfast faithfulness in the coolness of the undead transcends time itself! Come by the shop today and let the "newbies" know who they can turn to when the zombies DO come.

Aim high. Run fast. (pass it on)


Friday, May 27, 2011

Zombie Film Review!

Allow me to begin this post by stating that I am not a professional film critic. Very often I completely miss the subtle complexities that the director or writer has painstakingly woven into his or her work. And, I'm not one for drama, or storytelling thru endless hours of mono-toned dialogue.

I like action...I like horror....I like suspense, and I especially love the hero's sacrifice in a hail of gunfire... and I got all those things in the french zombie film, THE HORDE.

Basically, a group of cops with questionable records ambush a gang of vicious thugs in a dilapidated apartment building. The ambush backfires and they find themselves captives.....and that's when the end comes. Not the end of the film....the end of the world as they know it.

Zombies (runners, not shufflers) surround the building and try to get inside, and the "cops and robbers" find the only way out is to work together.

I enjoyed this movie very much because it stepped on the gas immediately and never let up. Yes, they did catch a breather in a crazy old man's apartment, but it was only for a few minutes.

As in many zombie films, the cause of the infection is left unanswered, but for me personally, that's not a problem. In fact, I LIKE that. I feel it adds a bit of realism, in that if it happened for real....none of us would know what happened. Not knowing creates more panic and confusion which in turn, ups the fear.

And there was a LOT of gunfire, as a huge cache of insanely powerful weapons was "found" in the apt. managers closet. Typically, I don't care for "conveniences" in films about the undead, but I was able to overlook it because I'm a guy and I love to see people make that scared/confused/angry face while they blast away into the source of their impending doom.

I won't tell you which character makes the hero's sacrifice I mentioned earlier, but I will say I thought it was awesome. This one person goes head to head with waves of undead, fighting until the bitter end. I almost felt like saluting when that person was inevitably mauled to death.

There are survivors that make their way outside, where one is faced with a moral dilemma. I must say, the decision that person made surprised me.

So, to recap....I loved it. Go out and get it and check it out (it's available on netflix). I highly recommend it, but it's not in english, so if you hate subtitles then...well....forget I said anything.

Check out THE TRAILER here!!

Aim high. Run fast.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

"Sensational Sell-ebrities" ..... pt. 2

Welcome to the second installment of my Sensational Sell-ebrities Series, dedicated to those who have no idea I exist, but whose star power would reeeeeeeally help me sell some stuff. Last time, I introduced the series with the lovely and talented Ms. Jennifer Aniston.

Today, I'd like to feature someone whose fans are a little closer to my demographic...The man himself...

Mr. George Romero!

Why Mr. Romero?

1. Are you kidding me? Do you seriously have to ask?? He's only the godfather of the undead! The man lives and breathes horror! Just imagine if he wore one of my zombie designs emblazoned on his chest, as he strode thru the throngs of fanboys (and girls) lining up to see him at the next big zombie jamboree! That walk from his trailer to his autograph table ALONE would result in enough sales to keep me in bubble gum and candy for years!

2. I don't really need a second reason, right?

*try to imagine this last paragraph narrated by Robert Stack, ala "Unsolved Mysteries" style.

SO....if YOU know George Romero, or play racquetball with him at the Y, or have seen him hanging around your local Dunkin' Donuts....please run up to him and beg him to visit my website, where he can find his own Ultimate Camouflage to keep his brain safely dreaming up new zombie stories for years to come! 

Aim high. Run fast.


Monday, May 23, 2011


By now it's possible you've probably heard about the horrific tornado that cut a path thru the middle of Joplin, Missouri. It was an incredible storm that took the lives of at least 89 people...a number that could very well rise as there are still many more people missing. The image you see is that of St. John's hospital....looks like something out of a video game, doesn't it?

Many of my friends were greatly affected by this terrible storm...one of which I haven't been able to contact. So I ask that you please pray for these people as they try to deal with their losses, grieve for their friends and family, and somehow try to move on with their lives.

This is a tricky time of year and we are quite used to tumultuous weather, but this is the most destruction seen in this city in a long, long time.

Take care,


Saturday, May 21, 2011

Armed Forces Day

Today we remember the brave individuals who sacrifice their time, well-being, and often their very lives to protect this great nation of ours. My own father was a career military man, serving 23 years including two abroad....one in Korea, the other in Vietnam....before retiring from the U.S. Army as a Lt. Colonel.

So to every enlisted person...be they in the air, on the ground, in the sea or on the coast....from cook to special forces...thank you. Your country is proud and grateful for all you do.

And a special thanks to my dad, who was "promoted to glory" late in 2009.....I miss you, and love you.

Thank you all, and God bless America!


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

"Sensational Sell-ebrities"

In the short time I've been selling my designs online, I've had some WOW moments. My first sale was one. My first sale overseas was another.

Then, through the kindness of mutual friends, public events, and much crying and begging on my part, I've had WOW moments with a few celebrities.

So, which celebs have original B'hold Designs gear that they, no doubt, wear 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week?? Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson of Syfy's Ghosthunters, zombie author Max Brooks, and director Frank Darabont.

Stating this isn't meant to be any form of 'bragging'. Believe me, I'm 'small potatoes' in this design game and those guys only have the gear because I gave it to them and they were kind enough not to throw it back in my face. No, I'm stating all this to lead into a new blog series I'm calling "Sensational Sell-ebrities"... those in the public eye whom I would love to see newstand photos of wearing my stuff. Not only because it would be way awesome, but also a huge boost to my business.

So who is first to be listed as a "Sensational Sell-ebrity? None other than the lovely Jennifer Aniston (cue eye-roll from my wife).

Why Jennifer?

1. She's a super-celeb...seen and recognized by everyone. Imagine the publicity for B'hold Designs if she merely walked to the corner to mail a letter while wearing something of mine!

2. I like her! I think she's hilarious and a terrific actress. I, like many others (including my wife), loved her on the NBC hit television show FRIENDS.......and, of course, it doesn't hurt that she's very attractive. 

SO....if YOU know Ms. Aniston, or if you find yourself standing behind her at Starbucks, or if you pull up next to her at a stoplight....tell her you know a four-eyed, zombie-loving designer that wants her to wear his shirt. I'm sure she'll call me up right on the spot.

Aim high. Run fast.


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

"Can You Spare a Square?"

We've all been there at one time or another...stuck on the throne with no paper in sight. What do you do? What can you use?

In a crisis, we can be very resourceful and willing to use nearly ANYthing in order to free ourselves from our porcelain prison...quite often resulting in "wiper's remorse" once the deed is done.

So, are there rules for that situation? Is there a list of things you definitely should NOT use??

The answer is YES.

Now, thanks to the Wipe Scientists at B'hold Designs, a list has been compiled of items that are strictly OFF LIMITS when it comes to finishing up "your business."

Among the items on the list are some surprises, like wiper blades (don't let the name fool you), a flame thrower, and the pant leg of the person in the stall next to you.

So, rush to THE SHOP and pick up the official list of UNACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTES FOR TOILET PAPER and know that the next time you have to choose between sandpaper or the cover of Newsweek magazine, you'll make the right decision.

Aim high. Run fast.


Friday, May 13, 2011

Happy Friday the 13th!

AH! Friday the 13th! A day held in high esteem to horror fans everywhere! I don't know about anyone else, but I plan to celebrate by taking a shower, and then wrapping a towel around me while I investigate a strange noise outside.

Whatever YOU plan to do to celebrate, be sure to include Mr. Voorhees and watch a couple of installments of the film that slashed and hacked it's way into American pop culture!

Please excuse me now while I practice blood-curdling screams.

Aim high. Run fast.


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Imagine the tailgate parties!

Are you, or someone you know, headed off to college this fall? Maybe you don't have the grades or the green for a whoop-ti-doo ivy league education, or maybe you just haven't found the academic institution that speaks to YOU.

Well, look no further than ZOMBIE TECH UNIVERSITY!!

At ZTU, our curriculum is designed specifically to prepare you for life. Classes like "Ammo 101", "Water Purification", and "Mega-Molotovs" give you the skills you need to survive when the zombies come.

Not really the survivor type? 

That's ok! We also prepare you for life as an undead with popular topics like "Gray Matter Nutrition", "Duct Tape First Aid", and "My Foot Fell Off - Now What?".

Plus, ZTU has an amazing athletic program that will thrill and excite, AND, as the title of this blog suggests....the tailgate parties are "to die for."

So, schedule a visit to ZTU today and tour the campus (machete and helmet provided), or order THE GEAR and let the world see how our colors don't run....but YOU will if necessary.


Monday, May 9, 2011

Horde on aisle five!!

Remember Ralph Phillips from the old Looney Tunes? He was the youngster who had trouble listening to his teacher because he was always miles away in his imagination fighting aliens, sea monsters, or saving his parents from cannibalistic savages deep within the clutches of an unforgiving jungle.

Well, I had a Ralph Phillips moment yesterday. 

My wife and I were in the local "mega store" doing our weekly stockpiling of stuff....an event she and I both loathe more than anything because the store is always crowded with people who are either sprinting, shouting, aimlessly wandering, or ignoring their obnoxious children.

As I tried to keep a mental note of what was needed for the upcoming week as well as the estimated total cost, I blew a fuse and drifted into a Ralph Phillips-like state.

I wondered what it would be like if everyone in the store...from the teenage boys dutifully helping their dads pick out last minute Mother's Day cards, to the elderly greeter, to the heavy-set woman on the motorized cart....were zombies.

How would I escape? COULD I escape? As crowded as it was I felt the only chance I would have would be to climb to the top of the shelving unit.....but what then?

The ceiling was covered with ironwork suitable for climbing, but how could I get that high? And would the duct work that snaked it's way throughout the store be strong enough to hold me if I were to try and crawl thru it? Could i get thru the skylights to safety?

As I ran scenario after scenario thru my mind an evil grin slowly split my face from ear to ear. I delighted in wondering what item I would grab as I charged thru the store dodging dozens of hungry zombies.

I thought a shopping cart would make a terrific blocker as I raced for the last bag of doritos, but knowing my luck I'd get the cart with the spinning wheel that keeps drifting to the left.

What would YOU go for first, if turned loose in a "mega store" with the undead hot on your tail? Medicine? Bottled water? Guns & ammo? Triscuits? 

Here's a suggestion for the next time you find yourself throwing elbows to get to the last box of Cheerios, or stuck in the express line behind someone with 47 items....take a deep breath, and channel your inner Ralph Phillips. When the zombies really do come, you'll be glad you did.

Aim high. Run fast.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

I want to wish all the mom's out there in the world a very Happy Mother's Day! I hope your day is filled with pampering and relaxing and crazy amounts of good food.

And, an extra special shout out to my own mommy, Donna, and my wife, Kristi......both fantastic moms...I love you both VERY much. Have a terrific day!


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

True Story...

I'm going to switch directions from zombie/shop talk for a minute to relate something 'interesting' that happened to me waaaay back when I was a young lad. The names have been changed, but this actually happened to me one night.....all because I tried to be nice.

It was 1987 and I was a freshman in college. My girlfriend Shelly, still a senior in high school, was performing with the show choir that night in the high school auditorium. I attended in hopes of spending time with her at the party that was to follow.

Immediately after the show I met Shelly backstage. She greeted me with a big hug, kiss, and the news that she couldn't attend the party that night because she was grounded. I was disappointed and thought about going home. That's when SHE walked up.

I'm talking about Tess; a girl who had sent me flowers and love notes and found every excuse to spend time at my house (she was my mother's piano student). I can't count how many times I came downstairs for dinner only to find that my father had invited her to join us. This may not sound so bad, but I had absolutely NO interest in this girl whatsoever. I wasn't attracted to her physically, didn't find her interesting to talk to, had nothing in common with her and, considering the lengths she went to get my attention, began to think she might be a little nuts. I mean, I was no prize and NEVER led her on in ANY way, yet she was CONSTANTLY in my face, at my house, and probably outside my window (you never know)!

So here I am with my arms still tightly around Shelly, and Tess comes right up to us to say hello. I immediately thought of my father constantly telling me to be nice to her. "She's a sweet girl. Why, if I were 20 years younger, I'd give you a run for your money!" he'd say, to which I'd respond, "You wouldn't have to run, Dad." 

"Hi, Tess. Are you going to the after party?"

There. I said it. I was actually kind of proud of myself for taking the high road and doing the right thing. I imagined my dad giving me an approving nod.

Tess' eyes lit up like flares. "Let me go ask my mom!!" And with that, she was gone into the crowd of people exiting the auditorium.

"That was weird," said Shelly, who knew how Fatal Attraction Tess was for me.

"SHE'S weird" I said. We turned to walk to Shelly's car where we could say our goodbyes for the night when Tess came running back to us completely out of breath.

"Mom says I can go, but only if YOU take me home!" A sickeningly hopeful smile split her face from ear to ear.

"What? I can't do that! I'm with Shelly! I may not even GO to the party! Go tell your mom I can't do it!"

"I can't. She already left."

I felt sick. I looked to Shelly for some kind of help, but she was too busy biting her lip to keep from laughing.

I sighed a deep sigh of defeat. "Ok. But I'm walking Shelly out to her car now. You're going to have to find your own way there."

"No problem" she blurted, and she skipped off into the crowd.

I walked Shelly to her car where we said our goodbyes and I left for the party about 30 minutes later.

I walked no more than 10 feet into the dimly lit dance club before I was confronted face to face by a very angry Tess.

"Where have you been?! I have to leave right now!"

"What? I just got here!"

"Well, I'm supposed to be home in 10 minutes, and now I'm going to be late and get into trouble!"

I no longer felt like being nice. "Hey! I didn't invite you here in the first place! I'll take you home but I'm going to talk to some people before I leave so just sit down!"

She marched off to an empty booth in a huff and I circulated through the crowd dancing and talking with friends.

After about twenty minutes I told Tess we could leave.

For the first few minutes of the trip (did I mention she lived 5 miles out of town?) she gave me the silent treatment which was a welcome surprise. Then things took a turn down Looney Boulevard.

"Why didn't you ask me out like you promised?"


Her tone of voice grew stern. "You promised that day at the pizza place you would ask me out when I turned 16!"

She was referring to a day a couple years before when she cornered a couple of my friends and me, asking us if we'd ask her out when she turned 16. Not wanting to be cruel and scream "NO FREAKING WAY" in her face, we all mumbled something about it depending on whether or not we were seeing someone else when her birthday rolled around. As luck would have it, I was seeing Shelly.

"I never promised. Besides, I'm seeing someone now."

Her angry glare cut through my head like a laser and I swear the temperature in the car dropped 15 degrees.

"You lying son of a *****!"

My eyes grew wide as hers narrowed. We were now out of the city limits. No more street lights or brightly lit porches to help me feel safe. I just knew my disappearance was going to be the top story on the next segment of the evening news.

"What did you call me?"

She started screaming. "You heard me you lying mother ******! You PROMISED!!"

If only my dad could hear this sweet girl now.

I spent the last remaining miles of the trip listening to Lizzie Borden spew obscenities at me while trying to navigate my car down washboard quality dirt roads riddled with potholes, possums, and skunks.

I had never been to her house before so when she took a break from her sailor talk long enough to say "here's my driveway" I nearly squealed with glee.

Unfortunately, her driveway was about a quarter mile long and probably in worse shape than any road into Baghdad. On the way in, I lost a hubcap, but I didn't care.

I stopped the car and breathed a sigh of relief as her mother waved from the back door of their house, and then the weirdest thing happened.

In a totally non-threatening, musical tone of voice, Tess asked me in. I can only imagine my face as I looked at her in disbelief. All the rage of a woman scorned was gone, like nothing ever happened.

"Uh...no thanks. I need to get home."

"Oh come on. Just for a minute."

I imagined Rod Serling lighting up a cigarette in my back seat.

Before I knew it, her mother was at my window. "Hi, Brett! Come on in!" Her voice startled me and soon their voices united as they continued to invite me in.

With Tess' mother perched in my window, and Tess rooted to my passenger seat (not moving until I did) I felt I had no choice. So, I went in...for TWO HOURS.

I tried to leave before that, believe me. But you know how it is when someone won't let you end a conversation. You keep saying "Well, I'd better...." and they interrupt with a new topic. I kept inching toward the door, but Tess was leaning against it.

Finally, by the grace of God I was able to leave and I tore out of that driveway. Unfortunately I had forgotten how hideous it was and blew a tire. Having no spare I needed a phone to call my dad, but the closest phone was.......NO WAY! There was NO way I was going back into that house.

I started driving. The car fishtailed on those old dirt roads if I got above 25 mph, and I was sure I would destroy my wheel, but I didn't care. I would rather my father hang me out the 2nd story window of our house by my ankles for destroying my wheel than go back into the peanut gallery.

Finally, about half way home I stopped. The tire was shredded, but it looked like my wheel was intact. About 100 yards from the road was a farmhouse. It was now 1:00 a.m.

It figures that I would pick the home of the world's deepest sleeper. I POUNDED on that poor guy's door for several minutes before the light came on inside.

I called my dad and waited in my car, just sure that Tess was out there watching me. For some reason I picked THAT night to suddenly remember every ghost story I'd ever been told.

Eventually, my dad showed up and we decided to come back in the morning to change the tire.

On the way home, I leaned back and closed my eyes; glad to have the nightmare behind me. Dad asked me "So, how'd this happen?"

"Well, Dad..." I explained, "I was just trying to be nice."

Monday, May 2, 2011

Product Spotlight!

Do you run headlong into the unknown, when everyone else is running AWAY from it?

Are you known for walking thru abandoned buildings and houses with a tape recorder?

When alone at night, do you take that cold shiver down your spine as a GOOD thing?

Ever find yourself in a dark cemetery asking "is there anyone here that would like to speak with us?"

Ever wonder WHY you do these things?

Because you're a Paranormal Junkie

Now that you've admitted it, tell the world with this shirt from B'hold Designs! Come on by THE SHOP, where we have sizes and styles for not only men and women, but also for your little junior investigators-in-training (pants).

So, raise your EMF meter high, proud Paranormal Junkie, with the emblem of your passion emblazoned across your chest, and let everyone know that when someone fearfully cries out "what was that??", you're responding with "let's go find out!"

Aim high. Run fast.


Great day for America!

I don't like to talk politics, and 99% of the time won't here on this blog, UNLESS something amazing happens.....

Praise the Lord, and hats off to everyone involved in bringing down enemy #1 and mastermind of the Sept. 11 attack on the United States!! Today ALL terrorists around the world are looking over their shoulders with a new found sense of paranoia as they realize that their days are numbered.

I wish my retired military father was alive today. No doubt he'd be incredibly proud of the brave men and women in our armed forces, as are we all.

So I say THANK YOU to not only those who took that nut case bin laden out of this world, but to ALL those with the courage to stand up and serve this great nation.

God bless you!